Sunday, March 15, 2009

Saw Net 1.1

before I awake i look out my window and before i awake i see your face before the days begun and when i get out to do my day to days- 
that familiar hallway where theres that photo hanging of someboy dead and gone and shes got your smile Id like to think you are her son.

On a rainy day or i feel silly and days when i feel weak- I cant bear to look at her face at all
but its been hanging there for months and its been hanging here for months
and its so clear in my memory by now

I feel like you're looking at me behind a dead woman's eyes and if i look my soul will go through my stomach and my soul will leak out onto the floor-
and  then ill have nothing left at all.

You see, I've never felt so nervous before about anyone or anyone's eyes before and before this I've never been more enthralled with anyone in my life.
Im waiting patiently for you to decide to run into me again and spend some time not getting to know me again or yourself again. again again again.

I make stories up in my head about how it will happen and I get so caught up in them-
these magical moments, that i have to remind myself that they are not real and i have to unwind myself cause im floating at the top left corner of the room - 
not me, but my soul.

First i felt like Gaugiun or Bob Dylan but now I feel like Petrarch and it feels so good to be so into something again even though it may be for all the wrong reasons and it may be a lost cause for all the wrong reasons again.